I sat downin my chair. and stared at the wall for approximately 30 seconds. For days, Aidan would passby me having my cereal and coffee and wouldn't say a word, I suspected hewanted to concentrate on his work, and make a good impression while he was atour house. I would go about my daily business, driving to coffee shops atnight, finding my place in the back and writing, go to work, come home, smokecigarettes and drink Jack Daniels.? He'dbe dropping by almost every day for a month now, so I hardly noticed he wasthere since I was always downstairs in my room. We'd have him for dinner, andthere wouldn't be much conversation between us, but an odd glare every know andagain. Instantly i'd feel the same intrusion and go back to feeling i'm tooprestigious to be noticing him, an outsider, a puppy - How pathetic. I wouldnot admit to myself how his eyes frightened me now and again, how he'd slinkpast my room when my parents were out doing errands and he was in the officeworking and. Finally she started threatening the major humiliation, making me serve her on my knees, enforced by her toughs with stun-guns, in front of all her lovers, as they humped her. I thought about murder, revenge and suicide. I thought about my boss, his two thug sons, and about the accountant and company lawyer that I discovered were among the fucking crew. I thought about my position as their sole laboratory exotic materials analyst. I thought about being left alone with a lot of specialty materials and metals. I thought about it a lot. Then, skimming the internet, doing cryogenic exotic-metals research, I started following personal leads and surfing. I came across a men’s group, and cybered with other guys who had the same ED problem. I got referred to a men’s sex clinic on the East Coast, in New Jersey, near Philadelphia. I called them, and made an appointment. I generated some kind of excuse. A ‘conference,’ I think. It really didn’t make much difference, because the more I was away,.
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